


Balcony dreams

by Remiington



Category: Sanders Sides (Web Series)
Genre: Angst, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, How Do I Tag, Hugs, M/M, Rejection, Self-Harm, Unhealthy Coping Mechanisms
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-24
Updated: 2020-04-24
Packaged: 2021-03-02 02:27:04
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,254
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23827585
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Remiington/pseuds/Remiington
Summary: "Patton’s room is wonderful. You could compare it to the imagination, but not quite, it is more like creating your dream, an ideal place you could spend days in. A feeling of warmth but still nostalgic to a degree where you feel at home."-A.k.a. Logan tries to escape reality and his emotions for a while. Heavily inspired by Logan's playlist, especially Sunrise.I was about to write fluff but that took a U-turn.
Relationships: Creativity | Roman "Princey" Sanders/Logic | Logan Sanders
Comments: 2
Kudos: 41





	Balcony dreams

Patton’s room is wonderful. You could compare it to the imagination, but not quite, it is more like creating your dream, an ideal place you could spend days in. A feeling of warmth but still nostalgic to a degree where you feel at home.

The soon to be sunset started to paint the currently starry sky into a dark blue color. The blankets and pillows on the balcony were keeping the balcony warm and cozy through the night, as well as some fairy lights and the wall giving a dim golden hue to the surroundings, giving a beautiful contrast to the sky. It was like the blue was made for the gold. It was almost to perfect to be true.

Soon enough a warm weight came over his shoulder, a bittersweet reality of something even better. The arm around him pulling him closer so he could feel the warm feeling inside him growing.

“Give me one more before they’re gone!” The comforting voice requested, after another night of Logan teaching him the stars and star signs, they were beginning to disappear, but the brightest were still visible.

“Find Ursa Major.”

“There.” The response combined with an arm pointing to the sky was small, almost insecure, but Logan commended him for being right and the both laughed for a while. This could be forever. The laughter turned into a calm silence, and they just enjoyed watching as the sky by now had gotten to a gradient of dark blue, cyan and green.

“Are you ready to try again?” The soft embrace left him for a second to look him in the eyes, a playful look. Logan just nodded and added an “I think I’m ready,” before the arm went back around him. They leaned back against the wall so they could watch the sky while throwing words back and forth.

“Esquína?”

“Corner.”

“Tienda?”

“Store.”

“Bombilla?”

“Lightbulb.”

“You sure?”

“I’m sure.”

“Three out of three, you did alright.” The arm squeezed Logan in a little closer, his jacket of a smell you could fall asleep to.

“Well teach me a little more...” Suck a small comment earning him an almost playful smirk back.

“Calor?”

“Heat.” Their responses getting breathier by now.

“Anoche?”

“Last night.”

“Dolor?”

“Pain.” A though sending him shivers, but quickly forgotten.

“That’s right” The blue sky was now long gone, and was by now a golden, almost red color. The thoughts were though quickly interrupted by another set of words. “Llámame?”

“Call me.”

“Azul?”

“Blue.” Back to blue, not the sky, but the color now overtaken by perfect blue eyes looking back at Logan’s brown ones, as their heads were turned to each other.

“Ámame”

“Love me.” Their foreheads were now touching.

Then their eyes filled with a warmth to dream of, as the words least expected leaved the lips in front in him: “Perhaps I do- “

And that was the last of it. Soon the door creaked open and broke the dream worthy moment. The golden sky was now a dark room. The balcony was only Patton’s bed in the corner of the room. The warm body was now only a cold wall he leaned against. The sudden coldness of the room caught up with him as he curled up in a ball on one corner of the bed. All emotions suddenly left his eyes, and he was back where he was supposed to be, emotionless logic.

“Hey kiddo, you alright in here?” A careful voice filled the room. A sound that finally broke the painfully loud silence. Logan just responded the father figure with a dismissive nod. It felt like a lump was starting to build in his throat. He suddenly began scratching his wrist to remove that lump. He could not have these kinds of feelings now. Not when Patton is here. His vision began to blur and he couldn’t turn back. There was a dull pain in the back of his eyes demanding the tears to be freed. He decided a deep breath was his last resort, but even that betrayed him as his breathing hitched halfway through. His scratching got rougher. Then he blinked. Then his cheeks were suddenly warm and wet. Fuck. No. No. No-

Suddenly his wrists were grabbed. He did not notice the quick paced footsteps. Nor did he notice the new weight on the mattress in front of him. He only noticed a warm hand on one wrist and a cold one on the other. Logan blinked a few times, making tears spill down, some hitting his underarm. Logan looked up at the eyes in front of him, concern. He looked down and saw that one of his wrists were very red with multiple red dots developing in the moment. He decided to look anywhere but in Patton’s eyes again. “You’ve been here for hours.” Comforting voice, uncomfortable words.

Logan just shrugged, at a loss of words. “You know he cares about you.” No reaction, just a blank stare into the air. He felt a thumb caress the abused wrist.

“He doesn’t feel anything back.” Even his voice gave up by now, braking mid-sentence. “And I shouldn’t feel anything for him in the first place.” The voice was weak, barely audible if not for the dead silent room.

Logan heard a deep sigh and then he felt Patton moving. The moral side wrapped his arm around Logan and held him close, which made him feel a sinking feeling in his chest, reminded of the dream scenario. “Roman’s feelings do not change the fact that you deserve love. You have feelings, and you deserve someone who makes you feel special.” Logan did not respond and leant toward Patton’s shoulder. “You are loved.”

The side hug may have looked awkward, but it was fine, the small words did have its own place in his heart, even if he would never admit it. They continued to stay quiet like this, as Patton stroked Logan’s back comfortingly.

Soon enough they heard footsteps and Logan did not even care moving, leaving his limp body and tear stained cheeks be as they were in Patton’s embrace. He felt calm as he knew the fast but careful steps belonged to the anxious side. His thoughts soon confirmed as purple hair carefully checked in through the door frame.

“Patton and I made some soup earlier; do you want any?” Yet again a shrug.

“Is Roman out there?” Patton asked Virgil back carefully.

“No, he’s in his room working, will be for a while.”

“Do you want to move?” Patton asked now turning his attention back to Logan. He just shook his head back, and he may not have seen what look Patton gave Virgil, but the anxious side just nodded and left. Only a few minutes later did he come back with a bowl of soup placed on the bedside table as an offer if Logan was willing to eat, as well as the cookie jar. He then settled on the bed on the other side of Patton and passed his computer to the moral side.

They turned on a movie, clearly avoiding Disney, but only noticing that made Logan’s body feel heavy again. So, they turned on some movie Virgil knew, but that Logan was too tired to remember the name of.

He did not have eaten nor laughed during the entire movie. Although he had Patton’s arm around him and both of their laughter’s I his ears as he fell asleep with a stream of numb tears escaped his eyes.


End file.
